two words: GROW UP.

you know the feeling when there's so much going on inside your head that you want to just sit down and write them all down but you can't? and when you already have the time to sit down and write, you go through so much trouble trying to recall all the things you wanted to write. and then you get back up again, leaving your journal BLANK.

I HATE THAT!

i liked our philo discussion last week. we talked about how logos is not meron, but they are the same as well. i also liked how it affirmed my belief in words. like sir jope said "kung nagtatapon ka ng salita, sinasayang mo yung potential ng logos". it only proves how much power words have and how words have stories behind them (as in etymologies, especially). he also drew the chinese character of the word "forget", the upper part being to flee/to die, while the lower part is the character for the heart/mind. meaning, for the chinese, to forget is when the heart dies. i guess that's why i always look forward to philo - when i learn something, i don't just store it somewhere. it lingers in my head before moving on to the storage bin.

went to the Tick Tick Boom run last thursday after philo and it was kind of okay, but then we used the minus ones so it wasn't as nice as it could have been. oh well, as long as there's rehearsal. i guess there's been much more improvement now compared to that run. but i hope they keep getting better. the clock is ticking for all of us! we're opening soon and we all have no choice but to keep getting better. their performance during rehearsals can't fluctuate.

one thing that kind of ticked me off last week was insecurity. i mean, i'm also insecure, but i don't dwell on it. i just accept it, work around it and move on. nakakaloka that it's STILL there now that we're almost opening. we're all here for a reason. we're all here because we know that we can do something that others can't. we're here because we can, because we're committed, we're talented, because we know that we can go beyond what we think we can do. i became MD because i trust those people who taught me (and who continue to teach me) things i need to know. it's useless to have people who believe in you if you don't believe in yourself. i'm just paying it forward.

we're opening in a week, and we had a semi-TDR tonight. i hope the cast gets comfortable already. they're adjusting to the new space, with actual props (oxymoron?) this time, having a band to rehearse with, the works. they've already gone past the excellent mark and i hope they keep getting better.