Updating this thing after more than a year, due to a friend's request. I must say, I'm quite flattered. Totally did not know someone liked looking into my thoughts.
I just finished reading all the entries in this blog. It's painful, to say the least. I read some things that do not make sense to me anymore, I read some things that made me thankful for where I am now, and I read forgotten promises to myself.
Where am I, what did I want to become, and what have I become since then?
It's not that I do not like where I am. Don't get me wrong on that one. I just feel that, honestly, I have been very giving. There were a lot of things that I let go of in college. I let a lot of opportunities pass because I found comfort in giving other people a chance. Thing is, I've been very giving, except to myself.
A lot has changed since I last let my mind find the right words for my heart. There are still SO MANY things I want to do for other people and for myself!!! I'm still young, but who knows how much time we all have left? Most importantly, WHAT AM I DOING HERE?
There are too many questions and the answers are all incomprehensible. Maybe, I need to stop, think of where I am, and find ways to move forward instead of changing directions.
Reading blog entries of a college senior full of complaints, hoping to change the world, and sticking to her ideals, is something that kept me awake tonight, in spite of the early call time tomorrow/later. Am I done with wanting only the best for myself? Have I finally been welcomed into the big, bad world?
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