draining.

right now, i don't know if the opportunities that i let go of are worth crying over. i don't even know if they're worth letting go of.

i also don't know if those that i grabbed are going to fly. were they worthy of my approval? or maybe the better question is, do i deserve them?

maybe i'm getting stupid, or maybe i'm thinking too much. i wouldn't know.

but then, like i said, it MIGHT be for the best. i have priorities. i thought it would be a priority too, but then when i thought about it further, hindi pala.

at the end of it all, we really would have our biggest regrets over the things we didn't do than by the ones we did. however, isn't not doing something also doing something? hahaha labo.

oh well. haha. is that all i can say? OH WELL? after all this, i'm just going to accept it? hay. ano ba, pauline. before, you said that you'll never become jaded. why does it feel that that's where you're headed?

i feel like i'm getting drained. it's like i'm running out of creative juices, the willingness to RESEARCH, the thirst to take in something new. like, even in selecting the season finale, i had such a hard time looking for material. there's LOADS of material out there. some are taken (tangina, btw), most don't have rights.

we finally landed on something, but i'm getting so many mixed reactions. it's so confusing, i don't even know if i should still listen! i swear, i've been getting texts from different people and sometimes i do try to avoid na lang. like yesterday, i just kept playing sims 3 and put my phone somewhere far so that i won't think about it anymore, at least for a while. but then there'd come a point for me to finally give up and read and understand. after all, it's part of my job. grabe, where's the BREAK? i thought i had 2 weeks off?

i just need to stop for a while. let me catch my breath.