it's been a year since my "thankful for" blogs. well, i guess towards the end of each year, one can't help but recall everything that happened, think about what's happening, and look forward to what's bound to happen.
in 2009...
...i turned 20 and was very apprehensive about turning 20. i felt like it wasn't the right time yet to get out of the teenagers' club because i haven't grown up enough. but then, what the hell. age is just a number. i can turn 20 and act like i'm 20, but that doesn't mean that the little girl that i've always been should disappear. who says what's mature and immature anyway? i can do whatever i want. i WILL do whatever i want.
...i was part of Bare as assistant musical director. god knows how tough that was, when there were times i had to do things on my own. a year later, i'm part of Zanna Don't as a cast member and co-musical director. i still need help from time to time, but i'd like to believe i'm not that brainless novice anymore.
...i became artistic director of blueREP. honestly, i don't think i've been doing much. i just hope that i have been getting work done.
...i was baptized into blueREP ushers, inc. from spelling bee, to spelling bee again, to spring awakening, to spelling bee again again. you can tell someone's having fun when after being a novice during the 1st spelling bee run, someone suddenly becomes in charge of the whole thing.
...i DID NOT go to the beach, hence the pale skin.
...i got the h1n1 virus. for a moment there, i felt so cool. i was just in a core meeting one night wherein 3 people had cough and colds. by the end of that meeting, i was already coughing, then i got a really really high fever the following day. when i went to school and h1n1 was the "in" thing, i was given a mask (that i didn't want to wear because it was really HOT in school and the mask just made me feel more uncomfortable) then was told that the ultra high fever i just had was h1n1. until now, knowing that i had h1n1 makes me feel so cool.
...i became musical director of Tick, Tick... Boom! which by far is one of the most philosophical shows i've ever encountered. i bow to you, jonathan larson. and i hope that in my own little way, i gave justice to the music that you made. i also hope that that show was able to make a difference.
...i was supposed to go to RCBC for spring awakening when ondoy happened. due to the power failure, i didn't know it was THAT bad. i then spent the following week doing volunteer work in ateneo with the bluereppers and bluerep friends. i felt good that i got to help and that we got deployed (thank you, alpha one), but i felt bad when i saw how much plastic there was in the covered courts. i hope those people who got the relief goods didn't just throw those plastic bags wherever they felt like throwing.
...i watched The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee 33 times. yes, 33. 33. that's 31 shows and 2 tdr's wherein i was a guinea pig guest speller. what i like about that show is that it doesn't get tiring, no matter how many times i've seen it. towards the end i started to get bored after all guest spellers have been eliminated. however, like i learned in theatre history class, when trapped in time and space, man amuses himself (theatre of the absurd, yes). there were shows when i'd observe only ONE character to study the nuances they have, how those little things contribute to the show as a whole, relationships between characters (ie chip and leaf), among other things. i'm happy that i learned something new every show, up until the last one. beautiful material.
...i watched Spring Awakening 9 times. the story is such a downer, it was like watching Bare - suicidal thoughts after every show. or like, going home in SILENCE, just thinking, thinking, thinking.
...i built ties with people i didn't really talk to before. from deadma to little hi-hello's to actual conversations. baby steps.
...i had doubts that our major production this year will fly. god knows how hard it was to search for the perfect directors, when people had shows, rehearsals, didn't like the material, whatever. a week before the scheduled audition date, we found the perfect pair. the schedule may be a bit unpredictable, but i'm confident that things will turn out great because they have so much passion (WHATEVER THAT MEANS. hahahaha) and they're very much driven to make the show legendary. for more, they're really making an effort to get to know us individually. i'm really thankful that after so long, i'm really, really looking forward to every rehearsal because i know that it's going to make me feel so much better. it's been a while since i've been this happy :D
*uhm, why am i getting teary-eyed? mapapagtripan na naman ako nyan eh!*
...i became a ditz. DSS. what? what? i found people who can accept my ditzy side. maarte din ako, so anong magagawa natin? it's also with these people that i can fangirl, share my little daydreams, share my big dreams, it's with them that i can share. no judgments.
...i got drunk. many times. what's new?
...i celebrated the last few days of the year with people who mean a lot to me.
...i partied with blueREP. even if i see most of them almost everyday, celebrating christmas with them is still extra special. with them, going crazy is second nature (or is it first?)
...i celebrated christmas with my family, of course. i remember ranting to my sister a few years back that christmas day has become such a huge gathering. as in, a lot of people i didn't know would drop by and the attention of our family was greatly divided. i wanted my share of time with the family. at the time i wished it would go back to how things were - just our family gathered in the dining room in filinvest 1, exchanging gifts after eating glorious food. it came at a price, but i did get it.
...i also went to an intimate gathering with my blockmates. being a shiftee, i felt that i've been out of the loop for so long. actually, since becoming a bluerepper, i've been an absentee blockmate. i hope i get to spend more time with them. i hope i get to clone myself so i get to spend time with as many people as i want.
...i went on a spontaneous dinner thing with celine and ange. it was just the other day, and it was all thanks to facebook. celine just made a status about missing our high school class, then i replied, then ange replied. moments later, we found ourselves in serendra, dinnering, talking, etc. it felt like we just needed to see one another so badly. i have to admit, i needed that night.
there may be things that i've forgotten. there may be things that are too private for me to share in here. right now, i'm just happy that they all happened and that i grew even just a bit from all of them. i don't know the real reason, but it makes me teary-eyed to look back at the year that was. maybe i'm just thankful that they all happened. i'm thankful for each person who made my 2009 worth every heartbeat.
i look forward to 2010. i want to see new places, meet new people, build more relationships. i look forward to more growth in 2010, both in the inner me and (HOPEFULLY. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE) the outer.
happy new year!!
